On Blending In

If you have any plans to make it in this harsh, harsh world as a creature of the night, there are a few things you must know. First of all, you are not going to make it as long as I have if you only feed from the vain. It's a lot easier to get caught if you have to worry about not only bystanders, but your human who will likely develop PTSD. A convenient alternative is a human blood bank. I know, nasty in theory, but you can always use a microwave and a meat thermometer to get it to a scrumptious 98.6 degrees. Make sure to look for banks large enough that they don't know a little red stuff has gone missing, but small enough that the're disorganized to the point where they also might not notice a missing pint or two. You will want to get good as masquerading as a human, not that it's hard in the first place. Just smile, hide your incisors, and tell them to have a nice day. My final piece of advice is to avoid blood buses at all costs. I completely understand, that beaming red blood bank on-the-go looks like a beacon to vampires everywhere nearing snack time, but it's just a disaster waiting to happen. You will be shocked to know that humans actually have a blood bus action plan for a vampire attack and it is not pretty. It took three whole years before my hair grew back enough to look as sublime as it always should. Heed my advice, and you'll be feeling full and fabulous forever.